God has really wanted me to consider the shape of the hole in my heart lately.
But God said to him,
"You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you;
and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong?"
Thus will it be for all who store up treasure for themselves
but are not rich in what matters to God.
~Luke 12: 20-21
The homilist spoke of the "God shaped hole" in each of our hearts. The things of the earth will not fill it, only the things of God, for it is only God who can fill the void.
This called to mind what Paschal said:
There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every human which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.
To which I responded in a paper in college:
As a theist and a Christian, God is Love, and Jesus Christ is God Incarnate; and so, the quote can be rewritten as, “There is a love-shaped vacuum in the heart of every human which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by Love, made known through Embodied Love.” Not only is the human person created to love another, but she is created to be loved by another. It is through embodying the gift of love that has been endowed to humans through the soul, that a human person fulfills her nature, fills the vacuum in her heart.
...And so, paradoxically, to fill the “vacuum” a human person does not fill herself more, but rather gives more of herself away...
While reading The Book of Mev I read one of Mev Puleo's journal entries:
"You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you;
and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong?"
Thus will it be for all who store up treasure for themselves
but are not rich in what matters to God.
~Luke 12: 20-21
The homilist spoke of the "God shaped hole" in each of our hearts. The things of the earth will not fill it, only the things of God, for it is only God who can fill the void.
This called to mind what Paschal said:
There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every human which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.
To which I responded in a paper in college:
As a theist and a Christian, God is Love, and Jesus Christ is God Incarnate; and so, the quote can be rewritten as, “There is a love-shaped vacuum in the heart of every human which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by Love, made known through Embodied Love.” Not only is the human person created to love another, but she is created to be loved by another. It is through embodying the gift of love that has been endowed to humans through the soul, that a human person fulfills her nature, fills the vacuum in her heart.
...And so, paradoxically, to fill the “vacuum” a human person does not fill herself more, but rather gives more of herself away...
While reading The Book of Mev I read one of Mev Puleo's journal entries:
God, I used to think you dwelled in a secret chamber inside me. I used to think we were so close that there wasn't room for anyone else inside...
Now, there isn't a secret chamber. There is a God-shaped hole that will never be filled but only accompanied. At the core is a tomb with our silence, waiting, accompaniment. But all over is epiphany and Emmanuel, God-with-us...
So, while I'm in the tomb and I don't know who Jesus is and if the "Christ" is Jesus and what the hell is going on with my faith--I am also in the womb and something new is being forged and revealed. It is as awesome and dumbfounding as new birth.
Now, there isn't a secret chamber. There is a God-shaped hole that will never be filled but only accompanied. At the core is a tomb with our silence, waiting, accompaniment. But all over is epiphany and Emmanuel, God-with-us...
So, while I'm in the tomb and I don't know who Jesus is and if the "Christ" is Jesus and what the hell is going on with my faith--I am also in the womb and something new is being forged and revealed. It is as awesome and dumbfounding as new birth.
What an aching throbbing hole we each carry in our hearts, at least I do. I think my hole is shaped a little bit like uncertainty of the future, nervousness for change and sometimes loneliness.
But what power and healing the infinite love of God has to fill this hole. God is constantly giving me the gifts of certitude, confidence and community. I am finding myself building relationships here and continuing to connect with friends from the past. How glorious to know that my heart can always accept more of God's love. For as He continues to love me and fill the hole in my heart, my heart-hole is deepened to accept more of His love. My heart will never reach its capacity of the love of His. He will always love me even more.
But what power and healing the infinite love of God has to fill this hole. God is constantly giving me the gifts of certitude, confidence and community. I am finding myself building relationships here and continuing to connect with friends from the past. How glorious to know that my heart can always accept more of God's love. For as He continues to love me and fill the hole in my heart, my heart-hole is deepened to accept more of His love. My heart will never reach its capacity of the love of His. He will always love me even more.
